Archive | August, 2010

Quote: If you don’t like change

By on August 20, 2010 in Uncategorized

“If you don’t like change, you’re going to like irrelevance even less.”

—General Eric Shinseki, retired Chief of Staff, US Army

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What is she dreaming?

By on August 18, 2010 in MC

In October 2009, I took Mary Craig to her favorite restaurant for her birthday.

We were sitting in the bar waiting for a table to open up talking about big life stuff.

I tend to be someone who has big ideas and hope and desires, most of which live only in my head. But because I’m that way, as a couple we spend a lot of time talking about my vision for our life years from now.

We had been talking about my big ideas when I realized all the big consequences those could have for MC and the kids.

I redirected the conversation, and for the first time in almost ten years of marriage, I asked Mary Craig:

“So what do you dream about?”

Listening to her was so much more fulfilling than obsessing over my same old tired ambitions one more time.

I was reminded of this when I read this great post by Ben Arment a few days ago.

My pride tells me that the most significant things that happen in and through this family are going to be because of what I do. I’m seeing very clearly now that we have important work to do that relies on the unique way that MC was made. I don’t think I’d have known that if I hadn’t stopped to ask her about aspirations for herself and for our family.

Guys, if you’ve never asked your wife – or if you haven’t asked her lately – find some time soon to ask her:

“What are your dreams?”

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Beginnings, part five

By on August 16, 2010 in MC

I got back to campus to start my senior year of college a few weeks before classes started.

Three friends and I were set to live in a brand-new townhouse that the school constructed on the edge of campus, so I was eager to get moved into the new place on the first day it was available.

Mary Craig and her friends opted to live in the new townhouses for senior year, too. But they were assigned a unit in a building that was still under construction when school started. They had to live out of their cars and sleep on couches for those first few weeks.

Looking back now, I know what a big deal it must have been for MC to leave home and go back to school just a few months after losing her dad. I didn’t fully appreciate her situation then, but from the moment I saw her when she got back on campus, I just had a soft heart toward her.

Once her townhouse was ready, MC and others moved off of our couches and into their new place. They were just across the parking lot, and the guys in my place were friends with the girls in MC’s place, so we were all back and forth a lot.

The girls that MC roomed with had class and sports schedules that kept them busy most afternoons, so when I got back from class I’d usually see only MC’s car over at their place. I didn’t like the thought of her being by herself so much, so I’d make a point of calling over there or stopping in.

We’d talk about our classes or fix some lunch together or watch TV. I really didn’t have any motive other than being present for someone who I thought might be lonely or sad.

That was our relationship for the first semester of our senior year – we spent time together.

By Christmas, we were both ready for something more.

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Quote: The mind once expanded

By on August 14, 2010 in Quotes

“The mind, once expanded to the volume of larger ideas, never returns to its original size.”

- Oliver Wendell Holmes

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Friday Fives: Great things I read this week

By on August 13, 2010 in Business, Career, Faith, Friday Fives, Inspiration, Leadership

Here are five things things I read this week that I thought you might find interesting:

The places you go by Seth Godin

The story of now by Anne Jackson

QUOTE: The critical thing about the design process at Signal vs. Noise

Learnings from my 30′s I wish I would have known in my 20′s by Brad Lomenick

Building benches instead of frisbees by Jon Acuff

Enjoy.

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The 4:00 p.m. meltdown

By on August 11, 2010 in Daughter, MC, Parenting

When Daughter started kindergarten last year, Mary Craig noticed an unusual wrinkle in her behavior that developed.

Nearly every day, Daughter would have a meltdown about something. She’d get in a tiff with her brother. She’d pitch a fit about having to do homework. You name it, she’d find a reason to for there to be friction about it.

We could count on a meltdown every day at around 4:00 p.m.

It threw us for a loop for a long time until we finally figured out what was wrong: she was exhausted.

I had forgotten about all that until a few weeks ago when I saw a post by Dr. Meg Meeker talking about the same thing.

If you’ve got little ones starting school for the first time or bigger ones not yet in the rhythm of a new year, let me encourage you to read Dr. Meeker’s post. I think it’ll save you a lot of frustration. Here’s the post:

Tired Kids: What Are We Missing?

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Notes from a pub

By on August 10, 2010 in Food, Music

A couple weeks ago, I met some friends in Columbia to play in a golf tournament.

The tee time was 1 p.m. In Columbia, SC. In the middle of July.

I think the tournament was sponsored by Gatorade or heatstroke or something.

Anyhow, after we’d made a mess of the golf course, we cooled off and met up at the Carolina Ale House for a balanced meal of wings and bacon-covered cheese fries.

It’s been a long time since I’ve been in a bar for an extended period of time. Here are a few notes:

- Even though it’s 2010, as far as the cover band was concerned, it’s still 1994. They sprayed Pearl Jam, Seven Mary Three and even some Toad the Wet Sprocket all over that place. It was fantastic.

- Kids these days spend a lot of time taking pictures of each other with their newfangled phones. Not that I’m a master of conversation, but it seemed like they spent more time taking pictures than they did just hanging out talking. It’s like nights now start with the question, “Where should we snap some pics tonight?”

- I know every bar has its own vibe, but I was pleased with how normal this place was. I’ve been a married dad in red state America long enough that I assume every bar is going to have loud dance music, the dudes from the Jersey Shore and thirtysomething women dressed like teenagers. That’s not how it was at all. This place was full of normal people behaving themselves. Just my speed.

- The guys I was with had a view of numerous TVs showing a couple good baseball games. I had a view of one TV showing motocross guys trying to jump over a pole with their bikes.

It was a nice place. I’d go back. And I’ll take my iPhone so I can snap some pics.

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Snakes on a stick

By on August 9, 2010 in Church, Faith

As I was getting ready for church yesterday, I saw a tweet from one of our pastors saying something like:

“Looking forward to Snakes on a Stick at 1st Pres JC!”

Since we live in the South, sometimes you have to nail down these details, so I replied:

“Are the snakes provided for us, or is it BYOS?”

Good clean fun. Anyhow, the Snakes on a Stick thing was a reference to the piece of scripture around which the day’s sermon was based. It was Numbers 21:4-9. Here it is:

The Bronze Snake

4 They traveled from Mount Hor along the route to the Red Sea,to go around Edom. But the people grew impatient on the way;

5 they spoke against God and against Moses, and said, “Why have you brought us up out of Egypt to die in the desert? There is no bread! There is no water! And we detest this miserable food!”
6 Then the Lord sent venomous snakes among them; they bit the people and many Israelites died.

7 The people came to Moses and said, “We sinned when we spoke against the Lord and against you. Pray that the Lord will take the snakes away from us.” So Moses prayed for the people.
8 The Lord said to Moses, “Make a snake and put it up on a pole; anyone who is bitten can look at it and live.”

9 So Moses made a bronze snake and put it up on a pole. Then when anyone was bitten by a snake and looked at the bronze snake, he lived.

We spent a few minutes on this text before we hopped over to some others to see that eventually, people began to worship the bronze snake rather than God, who gave the bronze snake in the first place.

But for some reason, I kept reading in and around Numbers 21:4-9.

I kept looking for the place where God took the snakes away. But I couldn’t find it.

The only thing I did see was the promise of healing in the midst of their suffering.

He didn’t answer the prayer the way they wanted; but the answer was a perfect remedy to their affliction.

I spend more prayers than I care to admit asking God to fix my circumstances. I think what I’m seeing is that there may already be an answer to those prayers that’s different than what I wanted but that’s a perfect remedy.

What’s the best thing you picked up over the weekend? Any moments of inspiration? Drop me a comment or blog about it and link it in your comment!

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Saturday notes

By on August 7, 2010 in Books, Nonsense

A few quick notes from my seat next to the boy while he watches Curious George:

1) Last night, MC and I caught the last few minutes of a show on NatGeo called “My Child is a Monkey.” It was about people who have monkeys and raise them as children. I don’t have any problem with people having monkeys. Do what you gotta do. But when I see that there’s a TV show about it, and that there’s a show called “Cupcake Wars” I can understand why people in other countries tend not to be huge fans of Americans.

2) I talked with a guy the other day who runs a small business. He does really, really good work in a pretty unique niche. He quoted his price to do what needed to be done for a customer recently, and the customer said, “Well, what can I get if I spend $x,xxx?” which was about double what this guy quoted. When you do really good work, every now and then people will gladly pay double what you ask them to pay.

3) On Mary Craig’s recommendation, I’m reading There is No Me Without You by Melissa Fay Greene. I’m like 45 pages in and can’t believe how much I’ve learned.

4) A car drove slowly in front of the house last night, so we did a cursory cleaning in case someone wants to come see it. The general rule is that people only want to see it when it’s at its messiest. We’ll see.

Have a great weekend.

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She didn’t want to be, but she was brave

By on August 6, 2010 in Daughter, MC, Parenting

Daughter’s school was a zoo on Wednesday.

They’re replacing her school by building a new one adjacent to it, and the construction mess has spread down into the drop off area. Combine that with the fact that they don’t send out classroom/teacher assignments ahead of time, and it makes for a goofy first day.

There was lots of plotting and strategizing at our house about when to arrive for drop off, where to park, etc. I may have even sketched something out with x’s and o’s based loosely on the offense Urban Meyer used to win two championships at Florida.

When we rolled up a few minutes before 8:00 a.m., the school looked like a hive of angry bees. Parents and kids and minivans everywhere. People were parking anywhere they could find a spot, which really means they were parking anywhere they decided to turn their car off. We headed for the drop off line, where Mary Craig and Daughter bailed when we got to the right spot.

I was so proud of Daughter on her first morning of school. She was so brave. I looked back at her as she was climbing out of her seat to start her big adventure and her eyes had welled up with tears. She wanted to cry. She wanted to quit and go home. But she didn’t say anything. She summoned up some guts and hopped out of the car with her Mommy.

From there, I was off to hunt a parking spot with Son and the Baby while MC took the girl inside to meet her teacher. After a while, MC came back to the car and we went on her way.

On the whole, we’re very fortunate. We’ve heard great things about the girl’s teacher. They should be a good match. She’s also got something like seven of her little friends from last year in this year’s class. I think it’ll be a great year.

The only thing we need to do now is get in the routine of going to school, because Daughter’s nerves about starting a new year are still pretty sensitive. That’s probably because they started with a half day, gave the kids a day off, bring them back for a full day on Friday and then send them home for the weekend.

Start. Stop. Start again.

That’s kinda like going to the doctor and having them stick you with an empty needle once just to make sure it’s sharp enough before they load it with the medicine and stick you again.

But she’ll be fine. What about you? Are you back in school yet? How are yours doing with the start of a new school year?

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