Those of you who stop by here regularly may have noticed that I’ve been gone for a while.
My absence wasn’t intentional, but it has been educational.
I’ve spent two weeks learning about plans.
At 12:16 p.m. two Mondays ago, the thread that ran through nearly every plan we’ve made recently came unraveled. MC called me from her obstetrician’s office, where I had been with her just 20 minutes before. Her pregnancy – all 11 weeks of it – was over.
We lost our baby.
And with that, our plans changed.
The hour I planned to spend away from the my office for her routine OB appointment with MC turned into three solid days at home, working to hold things together so she could rest and I could look after the kids.
The Tuesday we planned to spend doing mundane Tuesday things turned into 10 hours at the hospital for a D&C.
The good news of a little brother or sister that we planned to share with our kids on Monday night evaporated.
Beyond those immediate plans, we looked farther down the road.
We planned to move the kids into new rooms. We planned to share our goods news beyond the small circle of family and friends who already knew. I planned to start a separate blog to share our pregnancy stories over the coming months.
We made more plans than I can enumerate here. So many plans.
But there’s risk in making claims against a future that’s not yet here.
If you lean too hard on that hope for days ahead, it hurts when it topples over.
Now that we’re two weeks removed from learning that our pregnancy ended, the emotions aren’t as raw. The dark cloud that was hanging over our house has started to move on. We’re both better able to be present in the incredibly blessed lives we’ve been given.
Through it all, we’ve been prayed for, fed and nurtured in humbling and inspiring ways. Many of you have offered kind words and encouragement on MC’s blog. Your support has been a huge gift to us. THANK YOU!
So, back to plans.
Plans are only as sturdy as the people making them.
With that in mind, it’s comforting to know that the architect of our lives has plans that outlast all others:
“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future.” Jeremiah 29:11